For those of us who are endlessly amused and horrified at all the crummy, knee-jerk ways the government has found to spend money since 9/11, Bruce Schneier's security blog is essential daily reading. Mr. Schneier not only regularly links out to interesting articles on security that are useful for those of us with our roots in technology, but he often comes up with spectacular examples of the worst kinds of general "security precautions". Many of these, as you might expect in the post 9/11 world, are aimed at terrorists. This one, courtesy of WKYT television in Kentucky, is particularly rich:
FRANKFORT, Ky. -- Kentucky has been awarded a federal Homeland Security grant aimed at keeping terrorists from using charitable gaming to raise money.

The state Office of Charitable Gaming won the $36,300 grant and will use it to provide five investigators with laptop computers and access to a commercially operated law-enforcement data base, said John Holiday, enforcement director at the Office of Charitable Gaming.

The idea is to keep terrorists from playing bingo or running a charitable game to raise large amounts of cash, Holiday said.

***

Holiday, who applied for the grant, said that terrorists do not currently profit from charitable gaming in Kentucky to the best of his knowledge.

"But the potential there, to me, is just huge," he said. "You can earn a lot of money very fast and deal entirely in cash."
Indeed. And it's hard to imagine the world's cash-hungry terrorists ignoring such pile of easily-gained lucre. Join me now as we look in on the Al Queda meeting where, even as you read this, a dark and sinister plot is being hatched...

    "Oh supreme evil one, our funds are low. We must accumulate new wealth if we are to continue smiting the Americans and all their works. Praise be to God."
    "You speak the truth, o minion. Our resources have been depleted by the need to video endless statements for Al Jazeera. Curse the modern media's bottomless appetite for content. Once the Caliphate is established, all entertainment shall be public stonings, and we will have no need of these media lackeys."
    "Or the PR people, evil one."
    "Quite so. Curses be upon the PR dogs and their infernal 'billable hours'. We shall cut out their overly smooth tongues in good time. But I digress. We need money."
    "Oh supreme overlord of nastiness, it would be true justice if we could use the infidels' own money against them."
    "You mean by hitting up our Saudi supporters for shadowy donations of petro-dollars earned at the bottomless tanks of very same SUVs the Americans so love to drive? By beard of the Prophet (peace be upon him) it is brilliant!"
    "Your direness, the Saudis are tapped out. They took all their money and invested it in Baidu. I was thinking we could run a bingo hall in Kentucky."
    "Very well. It is sufficiently evil. Especially if they are gambling on credit. So let it be written, so let it be done."

Bingo will never be the same again.

Bonus pop-culture quiz: Which actor said "So let it be written, so let it be done!", and in which movie? No google!