Imagethief does a lot of what we in the business call "polishing translations". This is really hack copy-editing to make sure that translations from Chinese to English are readable and not too ridiculous.

Ridiculousness is a big problem, and we have to manage it carefully. Clients, with the possible exception of clown companies, don't like to be seen as ridiculous. It makes them feel that they are not getting bang for their PR buck. I have never represented a clown company, but I rather imagine it would be less fun than it sounds like. For instance, Clown Corp would probably pay you in rubber checks, and nothing would get done in meetings. In the end, it would probably be like working for one of the many ultra-cool companies that seem like fun to work for, but turn out to be the corporate version of movie stars: sexy in photos, but insufferably whiny and uncooperative prima-donna bitches in person.

But I am not writing to complain about clown companies. I am writing to complain about translation. Anyone who has done it will know that there is a great deal of subjectivity in translation. That's why, 400-odd years later, we can be on something like the 37th English translation of Cervantes' Don Quixote. And Chinese is harder than Spanish (even archaic, European Spanish, I'd bet).

Our translators tend to rely on crutch phrases for certain situations. For instance, they often translate the word 联合, which in its verb form means "unite", "ally" or "work together", as the more colorful "join hands". I can understand this. In English, "unite", the most straightforward translation, suggests a merger, which is often inappropriate. On the other hand, "join hands" has a gratifying, idiomatic quality that makes it seem like you really have your English together.

I hate the phrase "join hands". I am sick of my clients "joining hands" with their partners, suppliers, the government, etc. It sounds like an encounter group. Let's all dance in a big hippy-ring. Consider the following press release headline:

Megacorp and Chinese Partner Join Hands to Build Nuclear Reactors for Export to Dodgy Third World Countries

It just doesn't work. It lacks gravity. I read the words on the page, but this is what I see in my head:

Megacorp and Chinese Partner Join Hands to Build Nuclear Reactors for Export to Dodgy Third World Countries Skip Through the Tulip Fields

I almost always trash "join hands" and replace it with something less poncy, like "cooperate" or "work together".

Sadly, this is another, er, quixotic crusade. So much of PR (and journalism) is a constant battle against formula. Yet a quick search of the China Daily's website for the phrase "join hands" yielded the following illustrative headlines:
  • Lien calls on mainland, Taiwan, HK join hands for nation's new perspective
  • China, Germany to join hands in engineering education 
  • China, ROK join hands in animation industry 
  • HK, Guangdong join hands to attract Canada 
  • Nokia, Putian join hands to develop 3G
  • Regional Net firms join hands for safety
  • Pupils join hands for better future
  • Countries join hands in maritime exercise 
  • World Bank, China join hands to fight poverty 
  • Tibet youngsters join hands with Beijingers 
  • China, US join hands in producing auto motors 
  • HK, Yunnan join hands to promote sports
  • Hu and Soong join hands for Straits peace
  • Disneyland, Visa join hands to attract visitors
  • Two largest retailers join hands
  • CCB, Shenzhen Development Bank to join hands 
  • Mainland, HK join hands in science coop
  • Great Wall, IBM join hands
  • Mining firms join hands in exploration
  • China, Italy to join hands in producing helicopters
  • Nations join hands to fight bird flu 
  • AEGON-CNOOC Life Insurance, ABC join hands
  • Join hands for a better Asia
  • Beijing, Hong Kong law firms join hands
  • Vietnam, China join hands to explore iron ore
  • DAB, union federation join hands in Kowloon East 
  • Microsoft, Ministry of Education join hands in information efforts
  • China, US join hands to combat AIDS
  • Customs, police join hands to fight smuggling
There's more, but I think you get the point. The only company missing is Clown Corp. I guess no one will join hands with them. Probably because they're wearing Joy-Buzzers.