Imagethief enjoys a good rock concert.

Well, no that's bullshit. Imagethief used to enjoy a good rock concert. But as he creeps toward forty he is starting to find the whole idea of rock concerts --especially the larger arena-rock concerts-- tedious and unnecessary. When I was younger I feared this stage of my life, but I find the reality sort of warm and comfortable, like a heated wheelchair.

Nevertheless, although he probably wouldn't actually go to one himself, Imagethief applauds the idea of a rock concert. I'm all for tens of thousands of young people --especially skimpily dressed ones-- transported to realms of beat-fuelled ecstasy by complete sensory overload. That's why I was excited to read that the Rolling Stones have, in the wake of their Superbowl halftime triumph, rekindled their SARS-scrubbed Asia tour at long last.

Of course, in the US or Europe, the Stones probably don't attract the most youthful of audiences any more. Certainly anyone who is the same age as the Stones should avoid being skimpily dressed at all costs. My father, who is retired, is fond of telling how he was at the London School of Economics with Mick Jagger back in the early sixties. The early sixties, mind you. Imagethief himself was only produced in the late sixties. I am suspicious of any rock band older than I am. Notice that I said "rock band older than I am", not "band with members older than I am". I'm not that old yet, and was playing in a band myself until I arrived in Beijing. But we're talking professional rock musicians here, not moonlighting musical flacks. There is a credibility issue here. I mean, if you were really living the life, shouldn't you be dead by now? (Of course, there is a lively scientific debate as to whether or not Keith Richards actually is dead.)

I notice that Stones will play Shanghai and not Beijing. This is vile and insulting, and the classic-rock fans of Beijing should rise up in (government approved) protest at this gross act of metropolitan favoritism. While I wouldn't necessarily go to a Stones concert, I'd at least like the option of being able to go. The idea that Shanghai is somehow more worthy of rock and roll, well it's just plain insulting.

Of course, it may be that Shanghai is more worthy of trivial, glammy arena rock. That would be in keeping with the town's well-cultivated air of slick superficiality. But Beijing --lovely, grimy Beijing-- is a real rock and roll town. Grubby; sooty; unkempt; a college town; a city with authority worth rebelling against. A town where heavy metal and punk bands can spring up in the alleyways, blossom briefly and wither in angry obscurity. And with the Stones now about as dangerous as the Backstreet Boys with Botox, maybe Shanghai is the right place for them.

Or maybe I'm just externalizing my resentment. That happens a lot.

I also note that the Stones will still avoid playing the four songs that the Chinese government officially frowns upon. According to the BBC (proxy link), these include "Brown Sugar", "Let's Spend the Night Together", "Beast of Burden" and "Honky Tonk Woman". Why these are banned and the flagrant "Sister Morphine" is OK I am not entirely sure about. I mean, come on:
Oh, I can’t crawl across the floor
Ah, can’t you see, sister morphine, I’m trying to score

Well it just goes to show
Things are not what they seem
Please, sister morphine, turn my nightmares into dreams
Oh, can’t you see I’m fading fast?
And that this shot will be my last

Sweet cousin cocaine, lay your cool cool hand on my head
Ah, come on, sister morphine, you better make up my bed
’cause you know and I know in the morning I’ll be dead
Yeah, and you can sit around, yeah and you can watch all the
Clean white sheets stained red.
Damn, that's powerful stuff. But a brief scan of the lyrics for the other songs (to which the links above lead) suggest that the Chinese government, while sanguine about skag, still hasn't sorted out how it feels about the whole sex thing. "Brown Sugar" I can almost understand, given that it revels in the sexual exploitation of slaves (although, damn, it's a good tune), but the others are all pretty innocuous by modern standards. Laying a divorcee? Spending the night together? Heck, Trent Reznor was singing about how he wanted to "fuck you like an animal" a decade ago. And that was in a radio hit. Of course, he hasn't made it to China yet either.

Also, I am curious why the Stones can get away with agreeing to Chinese content restrictions without drawing the opprobrium of Reporters Sans Frontiers. Surely they, a product of the Aquarian age (even if they weren't at Woodstock), should be subject to some kind of higher standard? Or, perhaps once you've pimped yourself to the Superbowl for a few bucks, and then given a bored, indifferent interview explaining how much you'd rather be at home in London, you've pretty much ensured that no one will ever have any expectations of you ever again. (That interview, shown on tape right before the Stones performed, was hastily axed by a producer who suddenly realized that it was essentially an invitation to viewers to go outside and mill around the barbecue.)

Heaven knows the Superbowl's content restrictions are probably as onerous as the Chinese government's. And the Stones were certainly happy to complain about them:
"The Rolling Stones thought the censorship of their songs [by Superbowl television network ABC]...was absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary," the group's publicist, Fran Curtis, said.
Well, unnecessary unless you're playing in China, evidently.

Note: Imagethief apologizes to his numerous (but probably dwindling) Shanghai readers for the slam. He couldn't help himself.