If there is anything more sinister than a grubby urban pigeon, it must be a grubby urban pigeon under remote control!

Sinister robot pigeon!That's right, first the testing of an anti-satellite weapon, and now we get wind of China's plans to create a devastating army of drone bird warriors. It's one more sign of the relentless buildup of Chinese military power. I can think of nothing with greater potential to disupt the delicate balance of global power than this. Advancing behind a vanguard of mind-controlled robot pigeons the PLA would be all but invincible. Asian states would fall like dominoes before this irresistable force, leading to a global techno-avian-communist front that would threaten the free world as we know it (or at least threaten the paint jobs on its cars).

With civilization itself at stake the free countries of the world must band together to counter this threat with a concerted program to develop an anti-robot-pigeon-drone shield. I propose developing a phalanx of remote-controlled chicken hawks or kestrels that could intercept and destroy commie pigeon drones long before they reach western shores. To paraphrase the wise and visionary General Buck Turgidson, Mr. President, we cannot allow a pigeon gap.

We have to move fast. Yesterday this story was on Xinhua here --clearly an accidental leak-- but today it is mysteriously gone. Fortunately, our crack spies have confirmed this story through other sources, and supplied this photographic proof.

The cold war isn't over. It simmers on, clad in sinister, grey feathers. You have been warned.