Imagethief

I suppose the government should know what "hurts the feelings of the Chinese people", they've been doing it since 1949.

Question: By not putting pressure on Tehran re their nuclear program, can I say that "the Chinese are hurting the feelings of the American people"?

I resent the idea that Chinese are the only ones with easily offended feelings. So anytime someone says something you don't like, you can face the offending party and say "You have hurt the feelings of the (fill in appropriate nationality here) people and I demand an apology". Think of the possibilities. It could be real fun. I mean, why should the Chinese government have a monopoly of a very useful phrase?

I thought that it would be very appropriate for Fox News or Lou Dobbs on CNN  to use this phrase on their TV programs. For instance, when illegal immigrants cross the border from Mexico, Lou could say that Mexicans "are hurting the feelings of the American people". For those who advocate withdrawing from Iraq, they are "hurting the feelings of freedom-loving people everywhere".

The possibilities are truly endless.

And next time I see you, if you don't buy me a cold beer, you would have hurt the feelings of freedom-loving people all over the world by not helping me to quench my thirst for freedom!

Let's see how you live with that!

It always hurts my feelings when the Party says 'smash and crush the Dalia clique'

I love that the Chinese mouthpieces are always referring to cliques. It feels like high school.

OMG!!! Did you hear that Steve TOTALLY is going to ask someone from the Dalai Clique to PROM?!

NO WAY!! He's TOTALLY from the Shanghai CLIQUE!!! They'll never get along.

I've always despised that phrase as it's always hung around the neck of the People, as if they cared, by a disgusting, corrupt, gang (clique, if you will) of thugs in charge.

I suppose the wanton beating of old people and children by 18-20 yr old wujing punks does not "hurt the feelings of the Chinese people" nor does corruption to the level of affecting the national economy.

No wonder the Chinese love to report about private gun ownership in the US and crimes committed with the aid of guns. They're AFRAID of the unwritten story: a despotic government won't stand a chance against a well armed and informed citizenry. However, in some cases, as the Shanghai Police learned, a pissed off guy with a knife can do just as much damage. End rant.

I actually see the 'hurt feelings' syndrome as part of a wider cultural tendency for Chinese people to exaggerate offence in order to leverage a stronger negotiating position.

On a national level this works by saying "now show us how nice you can be to make up for what you did/said", even when 'what was done' only exists as an insult through the strategic planning of Chinese government propaganda.

Individually (as when bargaining in the high street or hammering out a Sino-foreign deal of some kind) it takes the form of an outraged expression that conveys your offer has been received in the same way as the suggestion of an improper relationship with the Chinese party's mother. Only a better offer will mollify this sullen poker-face.

The 'hurt feelings of all Chinese people' is a childishly aggressive bargaining tactic that is a nevertheless effective (or has been up to now) way of China (or a Chinese businessman) getting something they want.

@stuart

I'm curious.

Do you have an effective counter-strategy to this negotiating strategy which takes down the facade of staged outrage without causing lasting damage, and returns negotiating advantage to your side?

I wonder if getting run over by a tank hurts the feelings of the Chinese people.

Hurt feelings is a tactic used by Chinese in business. How to counter it depends on the situation but generally I would recommend politely ignoring it.

You also see this "victim" mentality when someone has been hit by a car and then lies motionless on the road until an ambulance or policeman comes along - it increases their negotiating power to get more compensation from the car owner. I once got hit by a car and simply asked for the money to cover the cost of my buckled wheel, plus a lift to my office. My Chinese partner at the time was amazed and said I should have laid down on the road and waited for the police, that way I would have got much more compensation.

My Chinese wife used to use this tactic sometimes but less so now as I simply ignore it or tell her to shut up.

@David

When I was living in Taiwan some 20+ years ago it was common practice for people injured in minor traffic accidents to lie down in the road, and then claim major damages expenses even though the injuries were small.

One time, a victim did this did one time too many. After being hit and lying in the middle of the road and crying out in pain, the driver of the car got back in his car, backed up and ran her over three times until she was dead. He figured correctly that the damages would be smaller if the victim was dead.

Ever since then in Taiwan, people don't lie down in the middle of the road unless their injuries are real.

Maybe that's what China needs?

I don't think most non-Chinese people are viewing the "hurting the feelings of the Chinese people" phrase from the correct perspective or context.  Yes, I agree the Chinese government is probably trying to milk as much out of it as it can, but it is actually much more deeper and profound than what most of you perceive as the childish -- wah, you hurt my feeling.

I think "feeling" is a mistranslation of the Chinese word "gan qin" which to me has the connotion of "affection, trust, loyalty" really a human emotional bond rather than the one dimensional "feeling."  Since Chinese (both private and public) relationships very much depend on personal connections between two people or parties, I think what they are saying is this: the way you are handling this matter is hurting our mutual affection and trust, without this human bond, it is more difficult to have a friendly relationship with you, to give you the benefit of the doubt, you are correct on many points but please find a different way to get your message through instead of publicly humiliating us on the world stage.

I could never imagine a scenario in which an American leader, from any of the three branches of government, would ever make a public statement that a foreign nation's actions or words had hurt the American people's feelings.  We might be disappointed, or concerned, or even outraged at times, but hurt feelings?  Never.

Which is funny when you stop to think about it, because the victim culture is alive and well in American domestic politics.  You can see it everywhere from our courtrooms to our talk shows to the rantings of various so-called religious leaders.  But it's always kept within the family.  We do not share our "feelings" with the rest of the world.

As for the previous comments about private gun ownership in America, I would like to direct any despots with future plans for invasion of our territory to the following video:

http://tinyurl.com/5lagr3

Our military has nothing on our private citizens.

@Paul

You have just reminded me of something that happened in Shanghai last year. I was in a car driven by a Chinese business associate on a busy Shanghai street when the car in front of us "hit" a pedestrian. The guy driving my car suddenly said "I know that guy" and related to me how he too had "hit" the same pedestrian on the same section of street a few months earlier. The pedestrian had demanded money from him. It seems that pretending to be hit by cars was a little money making scam this particular person had hit upon.

@Wawa

A very good explanation clarifying that hated phrase a bit more. Thanks! (really!)

@Dave from Chicago

Yes, I could not imagine the US gov't to have the gall to ever say, in one all encompassing statement, that "The feelings of the American people have been hurt" knowing full well that not everyone goes along with whatever happened.

I'd love to see D. Lama use "The feelings of all Chinese people have been hurt with the trampling of our unique buddhist culture by jack booted PLA troops..."

@ Paul Denlinger:

"I'm curious. Do you have an effective counter-strategy to this negotiating strategy which takes down the facade of staged outrage without causing lasting damage, and returns negotiating advantage to your side?"

Yes; I reduce the original offer by 20% and enjoy the ensuing apoplexy.

Perhaps the best counter-strategy would be a carefully worded apology that simultaneously calls into question the manhood of the Chinese people.  For example.

"We are sorry the feelings of the Chinese people were hurt as that was never our intent.  Had we known the Chinese people were so emotionally sensitive, we would have selected our words more carefully."

Now that we have heard all your Western views,  let us give you the Chinese perspectives:

. this scenario has had nothing to do with Chinese manhood/maturity or whatever. It is the true feeling of a people who had been trampled all over by your evil ancestors during the last couple of centuries. It is perfectly understandable you guys don't have this stigma because your ancestors had been the constant aggressors/thieves/thugs/pirates who had done all the murders, lootings, stealing & all those "genocides" against all the weaker peoples of the non Occidental world. That is exactly why we think that your versions of human rights, freedom, rule-of-law & all those garbage ring so very hollow. It is just like now that you have gone past the post & you start demanding others observe a standard of behaviour much higher/holier than what you could not have attained (holier than thou?).

.this feeling is not unique to the Chinese only. Ask all the other aggrieved peoples of this contemporary world (e.g. Iraqis, Arabs, Palestinians, American Indians, Black Americans, Aborigines of Australia/N.Zealand etc.....), I'm sure this feeling would not have been more intensed! It is just that none of these downtrodden peoples have had the capacities/good fortunes to so dramatically alter their fates & to rise up strong enough to demand respects/retributions   from the gangs of ex thieves/thugs. Despite the seemingly humility/benevolence of the Occidental world, no one is foolish/coned enough to imagine the 'panthers' have already shedded their spots. The Western, White Protestant world is rightly perceived as one brutal, aggressive, non-forgiving civilisation too ready to pound on any other civilisations showing any slight signs of injury/weakness ( naked Darwinism?). It is an ultimate life-&-death folly for the rest of the world not to pull up our constant guards against these opportunistic predators.  In the same light, just don't expect the rest of the world to refrain from savagely dismembering  the Occidental world once that opportunity appears possible in the long stream of history. If this does materialise, it merely represents a phenomena called 'history  turning one full circle'.

.Just don't insult our intelligence by equating Chinese man-on-the-street feelings with that of the so-called brutal, despotic or what-have-you CCP Govt. For all you can imagine, this Govt does enjoy tremendous grassroot support from a wide spectrum of the Chinese population, with or without any so-called democratic institution.  Despite the many challenges, this Govt is brutally effective, efficient & 'sufficiently' benevolent in safe-guarding the interests of the majority of Chinese in the Mainland. Just don't be fooled by the rattlings of those dissidents/social malcontents. These are mere small minorities at the peripherals of society. Why should Chinese trust these people anyway for, if they are given the opportunity to assume power, there is no guarantee they can perform any better. Also, never underestimate our intensed hatred for foreign collaborators, be they the Dalai Lama, Hu Jia, Chai Ling, Wang Dan etc.  Do you know how unforgiving we can be to these people?  We piss onto their statues even after thousands of years & their family members became social pariahs & had had no space on Chinese soils!

HAHAHAHAH Sons of developing Nations that was the best parody I've ever read!

10 to 1 odds you are a western educated hyphenated Chinese with close relatives in the party structure.

I agree with Rhys, that was grade A material, written in such a way that suggests incisive parody. Few actual Chinese rabid nationalists and propagandists are actually so well versed in the actual rationalizations behind their prescribed position. The sentence structure itself suggests it was written by a Westerner.

Now, if it is legitimate, I have to wonder if it was just copy and pasted from a very-polished text. Judging by the prevalence of awful English by even the highest levels of Chinese government, I would doubt it, but those little periods at the beginning of each paragraph are very suspicious.

Regardless, the level of English suggests substantial foreign-upbringing and artificially adopted patriotism/nationalism. If it isn't a parody, the violently forceful nature of it pretty much demotes the poster to the unenviable position of someone who is fighting a war of words his own brethren don't actually understand nor support to such profound levels. Truly, a lonely position to be in, but not necessarily bad. Just thankless.

@Dave from Chicago,

I would LOVE to see a foreign politician (or CNN commentator) say that.  Awesome response!

@ Paul Denlinger:

"I'm curious. Do you have an effective counter-strategy to this negotiating strategy which takes down the facade of staged outrage without causing lasting damage, and returns negotiating advantage to your side?"

Mine is maths and basic psychology:

You've stated that the feelings of the Chinese people have been hurt. You've stated at other times -- like last night when we were drinking -- that China's biggest problem is its massive population. So you'll have to forgive my Western skepticism, but I need to ask, how many of China's 1.3 billion have you asked about their feelings? All of them? Some of them? Any of them?

You see, in democracies we ask the people about their feelings every 4 years or so, so if I were to tell you about the "feelings of my countrymen" I could speak accurately and based in fact on at least one issue.

I've always thought one of the tragedies of China was the fact that the "Chinese people" have never been asked about their "feelings" on any issue. At all. Ever. Not one, and not once.

Which really makes me wonder -- is it the Chinese people's feelings that have been hurt, or is this just the kind of negotiating tactic we have come to expect from Chinese who are inexperienced at dealing with foreigners who know China? You don't have to answer that question. Everyone in the room already knows the answer.

So let's put aside this mistaken idea about "feelings" and not speak about it again. Let's seek truth from facts. We know that your [product, service, etc.] is only one of the many on offer. We know that we have offered a fair price. We know that you are honorable men who love your country.

And now _you_ know that we can't be bullied, intimidated, or bullshitted. We respect the fact that you needed to "make sure" you were dealing with foreigners who really understood how things worked. Now you do.

Let's get back to business, gentlemen.

Beautifully put, Sons of Developing Nations.  I couldn't agree more ... except that I did, in fact, agree even more after reading the idiotic, thinly-veneered ad hominem responses that followed.

And yes, of course I realise that they don't see the inherent ugliness in their ill-considered, intellectually and morally barren opinions.

Come now, no one has a monopoly on hurt feelings. But it's just so hard to resist, cause it's so EASY! The awesome power of being able to hurt 1.2 gazillion jillion people's feelings in one tiny phrase such as, "Hey! You guys are emotionally retarded!" It's almost impossible not to say it!

I read somewhere that the Chinese are so sensitive because they invented sensitivity in the year 2969BC, and the Japanese stole sensitivity during colonialism, and China's been trying to get it back totally in their possession ever since, and hurt feelings are just 1 of 12 types of sensitivity. Can you guess what the other 11 are?

Oops! There I go hurting feelings again, writing 1.2 when EVERYONE knows it should be 1.3! I'm so insensitive.